Ian and Sue Wallace Counselling

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Let us help you have the life you want

not the one other people think you should have


Next dynamic accredited training " 7 Day accredited Couple course in Wakefield"

Next CPD training Training course in Wakefield starting in Sept 2018


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New book available on Amazon and Kindle

My new book, Insecurity its all about me, is now available to buy on Amazon and on Kindle.
This book helps you to understand the complexities and enabling ways to work with insecurity in our lives and our Clients lives. It focusses on helpful ways to work with and explore our insecurities giving you a understanding of how insecurity impacts on our lives. What behavioural patterns then emerge from our natural insecure drive.
Buy it here Buy it here
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A small investment for years of happiness.


More ways to improve your life and your relationship

Visit my other site Seeking Change to find more tools and ways to have a healthy life and relationship.


About Us

Hi my name is Ian and I started Counselling Wakefield over 12 years ago. I and my professional associates work at Counselling Wakefield. We are fully qualified to deliver the Counselling, Supervision and the other therapies we offer. I am also the Counsellor for Relate Wakefield and offer counselling services for all WF postcodes, although the Relate Wakefield is a paid for service.

We all have many years of extensive practical experience counselling Client’s. We work with all the areas of life’s conflicts and issues, from helping with your relationships, bereavement, self-esteem, sexual issues and mental health, which may be affecting you. If you feel you are seeking change and seem lost, stuck, or with no one to turn to? Then counselling will help you find a way forward.

If you would like more updates and information then why not drop by my Facebook page and if you like it then please say so. Many thanks Ian


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Skype Consultation

If you don’t reside in the Wakefield, Dewsbury or local area then Ian offers counselling with Clients either by Skype or on a land line telephone, for a reduced fee of £35 for 45 minutes, if you feel more comfortable to access your therapy in this way and not meeting face to face or cannot travel to access our services and can use Skype or the phone then please give him a call.


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Contact us

Please call Ian on 0776 9976620 Su on 0776 9976626 to discuss your individual needs so we can offer the most appropriate counselling or therapy support and help for your individual situation(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)

For relate Wakefield services please contact only Ian.

We will arrange a suitable appointment time, with no commitment, to confidentially discuss your needs with Relate trained Counsellors who are experienced in working with Families, CYP Individuals and Couples or our other specialists who work with sexual addictions, PST (psycho sexual therapy) CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) or severe mental health issues.

Our hand-picked professional Counsellor / Associates can also offer Supervision, business and personal coaching all of which are offered from our Wakefield Premises, although for business coaching visits to company offices can be arranged or can be conducted via skype.


If you would like to access our Coaching or training services for personal, life and business development then please visit Pinnacle


Opening hours

Our Wakefield hours of opening are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 9.30 till 9pm. As appointment availability can change hourly it is best to phone us to check our availability and to book an appointment with a Counsellor.


What issues and organisations we work with

We help people with counselling around Couple conflict, Relationships both personal and work, Self Esteem, Confidence Building, Bereavement, Emotional Conflict, Sexual Addictions, Family therapy and Gender Identity, in fact anyone seeking change in their life.

Ian also is a qualified teacher and trains people in understanding why their life can go wrong and what to do to make it right. The information for these course for individuals, parents, couples and groups can be found at Intuitive Therapy. I hold my training courses locally and in other areas or even at your own venue if you would like me to. The information for these course can be found at Intuitive Therapy

We do and have also provided Counselling and Therapy to the following agencies Relate, HM Forces, Local Government Authorities, GP Surgeries, Police, Ambulance, EAP's, NHS and other local providers.


Where are we based

We have our counselling practices on Bond St, just outside Wakefield city centre and close to train and bus terminuses, which is easily reached from Leeds, Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Ossett, and all outlining WF postcodes.
For further information or to make a booking please contact us on:
Tel: Mobile for Ian 0776 9976620 or Su 0776 9976626
(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message and your contact details, saying if we can leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)

Ian and Su Wallace




We are registered with the following appropriate organisations.




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5 Stages of Depression

When looking at depression it’s interesting to me to look at it as a normal natural function of us humans who react to being depressed in finding themselves in an out of control situation. When we experience the feelings of being out of control we are more likely to think of being within the negative context of our world, glass half full or empty. For some people they can respond to this in a shrug it off way whilst for others it starts a deepening process of depressive negative thoughts. My own view is that the difference between us being able to shrug it off or it deepening our negative views is whether we have grown up with a secure base experience or an insecure base experience. The insecurity in our former years tends to build the negative aspect of thoughts so being more prone to depression then others we also tend to fall into one of two categories, internalising negativity or externalising it.
If we are programmed to internalise then we tend to keep those negative aspects to ourselves until we can’t keep them buried inside us any more then we blow and react negatively and or angrily to the people around us, each person’s tipping point is different and the triggers of the feelings to the negative thought process are different also.
If we are programmed to externalise then we generally don’t bury them or build those negative thoughts but we externalise them on an on-going basis, again there will be a difference in the tipping point but it will be more a constant process of exposing them to others
I see the process of depression as a 5 stage model and we move from each stage in a negative downward sliding motion. At all stages everyone will have an individual tipping point to enter the next stage. When that tipping point is reached they will slide quickly into the next stage of Depression. It’s imperative you realise where you are in the stages and don’t ignore the signs.
1st Stage is what I would refer to as low mood depression this is something which most people will experience at some points in their life when things are not going as they expected them to or planned to be. This is where we might be uncaring about things that would normally be exciting or interesting to us, feeling less responsive to positive comments from others and a general can’t be bothered attitude, grumpy or dismissive to others. We might not be too interested in the food we eat or giving ourselves pleasurable experiences. To counter this process we need to first see we are actually in it, noting can be changed unless we have an awareness of the problem and indeed that we have a problem to start with.
2nd Stage is where we have moved further down that road of low mood and are now experiencing devaluing of ourselves to others in our work, social or family connections we will possible keep ourselves distant from positive others and be more interested in connecting with negative outlook people, helping to slide us more quickly into a further depressive negative process.
3rd Stage Our diet will have changed to be more constructed of fast food or sugary snacks as this stimulates a quick energy build up and a heightened feel good process, this quickly dissipates though so we need more of it to get the same high hit, hence the obese aspect of people now who don’t feel positively integrated in society or have no future positive outlook in their life’s. We will be more lethargic and can’t be bothered in life, us or anyone else, possibly not getting dressed or staying in and watching boring television our brains would not be stimulated by anything. We might have an OCD aspect to our world or a compulsion to do things either to be in control, door locking, or cleaning etc, something that we do which will not fulfil us in any way.
4th Stage Total isolation and possible self-harming, either physically or emotionally, making our social connection as small as is possible hiding in bedrooms or disconnecting to the outside world, not opening post or taking telephone calls. We do this as any external intervention or connection cannot be deemed safe as it may make us less in control of the limited control we already have, isolating ourselves is a way of retaining control of our mind, space or life. Suicidal thoughts, not wanting to be here. Hording can be an aspect of this as we put things around us to keep the world out, sometimes literally as we build walls of stuff shutting ourselves off from the rest of the world.
At each of these stages we can do a U-turn by first realising at what stage we are in and the way to bring ourselves out of it, as only we can do this ourselves no one can do it for us, we have to want to change our current situation. The second is by talking to professionals or others about our position and finding appropriate therapeutic help, as we normally cannot be objective in our world at this time. The third is by changing our eating, socialising and exercising habits eat healthily socialise with positive people and exercise within a group or an outdoor activity.

5th Stage Clinical depression, this can be suicidal actions not just thoughts totally wanting not to be a part of this world. Psychiatric mental health conditions which can only be helped by appropriately qualified professionals and may include stays in mental health facilities, which are becoming less and less available these days. In this stage we are beyond the understanding of our position and would not normally ask for help as we are in a world where reality does not exist for us and conscious thought processes are unable to be built. The aspect of finding ourselves in this place would be usually because someone has deemed it necessary to take control of us for our safety or for the safety of others around us.
These are my thoughts on depression and will vary with other people naturally but if this helps you to understand this natural human process better, than that in itself is helpful. Let’s not stigmatise mental health let’s see it as a natural unhealthy process which can be something we all can experience, whether we are aware of it or not, and as such can be helped and changed to make us and others happier and healthier.

“Have the life you want not the one other people think you should have”

seekingchange.co.uk

Ian Wallace Relate Counsellor in Wakefield


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