Ian and Sue Wallace Counselling

Feature image

Let us help you have the life you want

not the one other people think you should have


In light of the situation of Corona Virus Zoom Consultations are available online or via Phone

If you are self isolating and would like help and support then Ian offers counselling with Clients either by Zoom, a more secure form of Skype, or on a land line telephone, for a discounted fee of £40 for 45 minutes, if you feel more comfortable to access your therapy in this way and not meeting face to face or cannot travel to access our services and can use a computer or the phone then please give him a call.


Home. insecurity book cover

New book available on Amazon and Kindle

My new book, Insecurity its all about me, is now available to buy on Amazon and on Kindle.
This book helps you to understand the complexities and enabling ways to work with insecurity in our lives and our Clients lives. It focusses on helpful ways to work with and explore our insecurities giving you a understanding of how insecurity impacts on our lives. What behavioural patterns then emerge from our natural insecure drive.
Buy it here Buy it here
view a clip here View it here

A small investment for years of happiness.


More ways to improve your life and your relationship

Visit my other site Seeking Change to find more tools and ways to have a healthy life and relationship.


About Us

Hi my name is Ian and I started Counselling Wakefield over 20 years ago. I and my professional associates work at Counselling Wakefield. We are fully qualified to deliver the Counselling, Supervision and the other therapies we offer. I am also the Counsellor for Relate Wakefield and offer counselling services for all WF postcodes, although the Relate Wakefield is a paid for service.

We all have many years of extensive practical experience counselling Client’s. We work with all the areas of life’s conflicts and issues, from helping with your relationships, bereavement, self-esteem, sexual issues and mental health, which may be affecting you. If you feel you are seeking change and seem lost, stuck, or with no one to turn to? Then counselling Wakefield will help you to find a way forward.

If you would like more updates and information then why not drop by my Facebook page and if you like it then please say so. Many thanks Ian


Home. relationship issues

Contact us

Please call Ian on 0776 9976620 Su on 0776 9976626 to discuss your individual needs so we can offer the most appropriate counselling or therapy support and help for your individual situation(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)

For relate Wakefield services please contact only Ian.

We will arrange a suitable appointment time, with no commitment, to confidentially discuss your needs with Relate trained Counsellors who are experienced in working with Families, CYP Individuals and Couples or our other specialists who work with sexual addictions, PST (psycho sexual therapy) CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) or severe mental health issues.

Our hand-picked professional Counsellor / Associates can also offer Supervision, business and personal coaching all of which are offered from our Wakefield Premises, although for business coaching visits to company offices can be arranged or can be conducted via skype.


If you would like to access our Coaching or training services for personal, life and business development then please visit Pinnacle


Opening hours

Our Wakefield hours of opening are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 9.30 till 9pm. As appointment availability can change hourly it is best to phone us to check our availability and to book an appointment with a Counsellor.


What issues and organisations we work with

We help people with counselling around Couple conflict, Relationships both personal and work, Self Esteem, Confidence Building, Bereavement, Emotional Conflict, Sexual Addictions, Family therapy and Gender Identity, EMDR, in fact anyone seeking change in their life.

Ian also is a qualified teacher and trains people in understanding why their life can go wrong and what to do to make it right. The information for these course for individuals, parents, couples and groups can be found at Intuitive Therapy. I hold my training courses locally and in other areas or even at your own venue if you would like me to. The information for these course can be found at Pinnacle

We do and have also provided Counselling and Therapy to the following agencies Relate, HM Forces, Local Government Authorities, GP Surgeries, Police, Ambulance, EAP's, NHS and other local providers.


Where are we based

We have our counselling practices on Ings Rd, just outside Wakefield city centre and close to train and bus terminus's, which is easily reached from Leeds, Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Ossett, and all outlining WF postcodes.
For further information or to make a booking please contact us on:
Tel: Mobile for Ian 0776 9976620 or Su 0776 9976626
(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message and your contact details, saying if we can leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)

Ian and Su Wallace




We are registered with the following appropriate organisations.




Home. new ncp logo


Home. BACP


Home. Registration




Safely working with Clients where abuse is a feature

Abuse comes in many styles and covers in my eyes anything one human does to another human were they have no control over it, which degrades them of suffers them harm both mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually or financially that the abuser gains from.
Over the years a fair amount of my work has been in enabling people who have suffered abuse to be heard and to help them have a life instead of being encased in the secret of abuse, which restricts them in connecting fully with others. The telling is one of the main themes of my work helping them to talk and share as most abusive processes rely on the keeping the secret via shame, guilt or threat of effecting others close to the abused person. The main aspect of my work initially is in building a good therapeutic bond to enable them to feel safe and in control of the work we do. This aspect is the building blocks of the work as until they do feel safe and in control they are unlikely to say what they need to say, to open the dialogue between us. A vast majority of the Clients have had at some time plucked up the courage to seek help, not usually initially for the abuse they usually start with relational issues. Depending then whether they feel safe and in control in engaging with the Therapist they then may take the scary steps of slowly opening up a conversation, not usually about the abuse, to see if the Therapist will engage with the discussion and not deflect it or feel uncomfortable with it. The Client will then make an assessment as to whether they think the Therapist can hold them safely and if they do they may initiate a more detailed discussion. This is sometimes over many weeks and seldom do they talk about the abuse they have incurred in the first few sessions, unless they have told the incidents of the abuse previously to others and it, the incidents, have become detached from the emotional aspect of the abuse, sometimes as I would see it as splitting.
This splitting in my view is where the physical body incurs the abuse, as it cannot do anything else, and to cope with and survive, the emotional aspect of the self then disconnects and finds ways to deflect thoughts and feelings from the abuse they are suffering. This splitting, as I call it, keeps the person safe in being able to survive and deal with the abuse which is happening. The subconscious then can wrap time around the abuse so that the person cannot remember anything form that time as an adult, great swathes of memory can be hidden from them locked away in order to keep the person safe and able to cope with life.
Something will then occur in their life, they may become a parent, they may encounter the abuser again out of the blue, the person who they kept safe by not saying anything passes over. This any many other situations may be the reasons why the Client interacts with the therapy now but as I have said previously abuse will not normally be the initial focus of the work but might be the eventual aspect of the work once they become trustful of the Therapist, possibly initially engaging with grief work for the person who has passed as an example. They not only need to implicitly trust that the Therapist will hear them but also that the Therapist can work with the details of the abuse and as the details unfold can cope with what they uncover, as somethings may still be hidden from them, a Pandora’s box process, not sure what may be inside until you lift the lid.
The main points to bear in mind is that the disclosure needs to be at the Clients speed, pace is everything.
The Client always needs to be in control of the work, as being out of control is the abusive process.
You may have to adopt different more creative ways of working, as talking about it might not be something they can initially do.
You will have to challenge their thoughts about themselves, negative views of self and self-doubt of their own thoughts and actions will be common.
You will have to stay the distance no matter how long it takes, as leaving them in the middle of the work may only abuse them further.
Your manor, actions, words will be constantly scrutinised and judged by the Client.
Your professional boundaries might be challenged and you have to hold them strong and consistent for the Clients benefit.
Abuse work is some of the most challenging for us as Therapists, also tit can be most rewarding, and you should not engage with a Client in this work unless you yourself feel comfortable and competent with it. But don’t on any account leave them high and dry by ending the work without a suitable referral process, which they agree to and feel comfortable with, in place to carry on this most important work.
They have started the process with you and that will normally be the scariest frightening thing they will have ever done. Respect that and feel proud of yourself as you have given them a safe and secure place to help unfold their life in. That was because of you, you are special in their eyes.



“Have the life you want not the one other people think you should have”

seekingchange.co.uk

Ian Wallace Relate Counsellor in Wakefield


click
©2020 Ian Wallace — powered by WebHealer
Cookies are set by this site. To decline them or find out more visit our cookie page