Ian and Sue Wallace Counselling

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Let us help you have the life you want

not the one other people think you should have


Next dynamic accredited training " Bereavement Loss and the therapeutic Relationship"

Next CPD training Training course in Sheffield Jan


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New book available on Amazon and Kindle

My new book is now available to buy on Amazon and on Kindle. It will help you to have a better life by being aware of why things go wrong so you can change, alter and adapt your interactions to have the life you want not the one other people think you should have. As an experienced Counsellor providing many years of counselling and therapy covering all aspects of life's difficulties from relationships, bereavement, self-esteem, mental health and helping people seeking change.

A reviewers comment
Love the tools , light bulb moments and things to think about sections that create a pause and help whatever idea to sink in as well as the diagrams explaining some of the processes people go through. Altogether a very useful addition for anybody who is in the process of trying to work themselves or how they have come to fit in the world as they do out.

See Amazon Buy it here

A small investment for years of happiness.


More ways to improve your life and your relationship

Visit my other site Seeking Change to find more tools and ways to have a healthy life and relationship.


About Us

Hi my name is Ian and I started Counselling Wakefield over 12 years ago. I and my professional associates work at Counselling Wakefield. We are fully qualified to deliver the Counselling, Supervision and the other therapies we offer. I am also the Counsellor for Relate Wakefield and offer counselling services for all WF postcodes, although the Relate Wakefield is a paid for service.

We all have many years of extensive practical experience counselling Client’s. We work with all the areas of life’s conflicts and issues, from helping with your relationships, bereavement, self-esteem, sexual issues and mental health, which may be affecting you. If you feel you are seeking change and seem lost, stuck, or with no one to turn to? Then counselling will help you find a way forward.

If you would like more updates and information then why not drop by my Facebook page and if you like it then please say so. Many thanks Ian


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Skype Consultation

If you don’t reside in the Wakefield, Dewsbury or local area then Ian offers counselling with Clients either by Skype or on a land line telephone, for a reduced fee of £35 for 45 minutes, if you feel more comfortable to access your therapy in this way and not meeting face to face or cannot travel to access our services and can use Skype or the phone then please give him a call.


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Contact us

Please call Ian on 0776 9976620 Su on 0776 9976626 to discuss your individual needs so we can offer the most appropriate counselling or therapy support and help for your individual situation(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)

For relate Wakefield services please contact only Ian.

We will arrange a suitable appointment time, with no commitment, to confidentially discuss your needs with Relate trained Counsellors who are experienced in working with Families, CYP Individuals and Couples or our other specialists who work with sexual addictions, PST (psycho sexual therapy) CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) or severe mental health issues.

Our hand-picked professional Counsellor / Associates can also offer Supervision, business and personal coaching all of which are offered from our Wakefield Premises, although for business coaching visits to company offices can be arranged or can be conducted via skype.


If you would like to access our Coaching or training services for personal, life and business development then please visit Pinnacle


Opening hours

Our Wakefield hours of opening are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 9.30 till 9pm. As appointment availability can change hourly it is best to phone us to check our availability and to book an appointment with a Counsellor.


What issues and organisations we work with

We help people with counselling around Couple conflict, Relationships both personal and work, Self Esteem, Confidence Building, Bereavement, Emotional Conflict, Sexual Addictions, Family therapy and Gender Identity, in fact anyone seeking change in their life.

Ian also is a qualified teacher and trains people in understanding why their life can go wrong and what to do to make it right. The information for these course for individuals, parents, couples and groups can be found at Intuitive Therapy. I hold my training courses locally and in other areas or even at your own venue if you would like me to. The information for these course can be found at Intuitive Therapy

We do and have also provided Counselling and Therapy to the following agencies Relate, HM Forces, Local Government Authorities, GP Surgeries, Police, Ambulance, EAP's, NHS and other local providers.


Where are we based

We have our counselling practices on Bond St, just outside Wakefield city centre and close to train and bus terminuses, which is easily reached from Leeds, Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Ossett, and all outlining WF postcodes.
For further information or to make a booking please contact us on:
Tel: Mobile for Ian 0776 9976620 or Su 0776 9976626
(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message and your contact details, saying if we can leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)

Ian and Su Wallace




We are registered with the following appropriate organisations.




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Finding your way through your insecure forest

Insecurity drives all of us in our interactions and interventions during our life. It causes us to reshape and redesign what we think, feel and do in our thoughts, words and deeds. This insecure drive is part of our DNA mind programming and we refer back to it for most of our decisions within everyday life. It’s something which we find hard to detach from and take control of. When we have conflict or issues around our relationships with others then we tend to reflect on our situation from an insecure position and then interact with others in a defending way, sometimes using words to create distance from our decisions or actions. This may involve telling lies or fabricating the truth, causing arguments, running away, using deflective behaviour patterns, such as drinking, drugs, sex, isolation or maybe other self-harming ways. If we can understand our insecure patterns of behaviour then we can try to change our actions and reactions to others. It’s hard to do this in the moment, especially when the fight or flight drives are in motion, we would need to do this in a calm and reflective way usually by ourselves or within therapy.
If you can understand where these drives originate and how they impact on your life then you can understand how to implement strategies in order to reduce the effect they have on you.
A personal example would be that as I grew up the relationship with my Father he was very detached I was always trying to get a connection with him, usually in a negative way which did not help. I presumed he did not want me around and that the distance we had was a criticism of the things I achieved academically, not being interested in my school work or my interactions with the schooling process. This made me believe I was thick, a perception not a reality. This insecurity perception drove me to not engage with schooling and as much as possible not gain any academic foundation. So as I grew up I went into jobs which were lower grade to what I could have possibly achieved. But my skills on learning and being able to see positive outcomes from muddle and confusion, seeing the clear path through things and implementing solutions to problems helped me to progress through the roles I had and work I did. This never involved any academic interaction, no tests or academic results, learning on the job so to speak. This stood me well throughout my formative years and helped to challenge some of my insecurity issues, building my confidence in what I had achieved. My insecurity, as always, was purring in the background, like a piece of software on a computer which was hidden in the program, it still informed my interactions with others, also in those days the reflection process I have now wasn’t evident in my thinking, I was blinded to why I did things.
Once I became interested in the therapeutic counselling world as a career I had to challenge some of these ideals about my academic prowess, which was a somewhat scary process. In challenging these ideals by attending college and later university I became aware that I did indeed have an academic brain and could relate to engaging with learning at a higher level than I ever thought possible.
This experience and journey helped me to understand, challenge and beat this insecure perception which I had allowing me now to engage with, learn and understand my insecure drives which had informed me for so long. I now connect with these drives trying to understand them more and engage with them so that I can be in charge of them and use them to challenge my perceived world based on this historical ideals and notions. This knowing and challenging process of my insecure drives makes living within my world much easier to engage with, in a positive and productive way, I revert back to them less and as such am more in the driving seat then I have ever been before in my life and hopefully even more in the future.
My new book, out soon on amazon, which is titled Insecurity “It’s all about Me” looks at these drives in much deeper detail and gives ways to help to engage with them and reduce the effect they have on us.
Have the life you want not the one your insecurity deems you should have.

“Have the life you want not the one other people think you should have”

seekingchange.co.uk

Ian Wallace Relate Counsellor in Wakefield


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