New book available on Amazon and Kindle
My new book is now available to buy on Amazon and on Kindle. It will help you to have a better life by being aware of why things go wrong so you can change, alter and adapt your interactions to have the life you want not the one other people think you should have. As an experienced Counsellor providing many years of counselling and therapy covering all aspects of life's difficulties from relationships, bereavement, self-esteem, mental health and helping people seeking change.
A reviewers comment
Love the tools , light bulb moments and things to think about sections that create a pause and help whatever idea to sink in as well as the diagrams explaining some of the processes people go through. Altogether a very useful addition for anybody who is in the process of trying to work themselves or how they have come to fit in the world as they do out.
See Amazon Buy it here
A small investment for years of happiness.
Hi my name is Ian and I started Counselling Wakefield over 12 years ago. I and my professional associates work at Counselling Wakefield. We are fully qualified to deliver the Counselling, Supervision and the other therapies we offer. I am also the Counsellor for Relate Wakefield and offer counselling services for all WF postcodes, although the Relate Wakefield is a paid for service.
We all have many years of extensive practical experience counselling Client’s. We work with all the areas of life’s conflicts and issues, from helping with your relationships, bereavement, self-esteem, sexual issues and mental health, which may be affecting you. If you feel you are seeking change and seem lost, stuck, or with no one to turn to? Then counselling will help you find a way forward.
If you would like more updates and information then why not drop by my Facebook page and if you like it then please say so. Many thanks Ian
If you don’t reside in the Wakefield, Dewsbury or local area then Ian offers counselling with Clients either by Skype or on a land line telephone, for a reduced fee of £35 for 45 minutes, if you feel more comfortable to access your therapy in this way and not meeting face to face or cannot travel to access our services and can use Skype or the phone then please give him a call.
Please call Ian on 0776 9976620 Su on 0776 9976626 to discuss your individual needs so we can offer the most appropriate counselling or therapy support and help for your individual situation(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)
For relate Wakefield services please contact only Ian.
We will arrange a suitable appointment time, with no commitment, to confidentially discuss your needs with Relate trained Counsellors who are experienced in working with Families, CYP Individuals and Couples or our other specialists who work with sexual addictions, PST (psycho sexual therapy) CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) or severe mental health issues.
Our hand-picked professional Counsellor / Associates can also offer Supervision, business and personal coaching all of which are offered from our Wakefield Premises, although for business coaching visits to company offices can be arranged or can be conducted via skype.
If you would like to access our Coaching or training services for personal, life and business development then please visit Pinnacle
Our Wakefield hours of opening are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 9.30 till 9pm. As appointment availability can change hourly it is best to phone us to check our availability and to book an appointment with a Counsellor.
What issues and organisations we work with
We help people with counselling around Couple conflict, Relationships both personal and work, Self Esteem, Confidence Building, Bereavement, Emotional Conflict, Sexual Addictions, Family therapy and Gender Identity, in fact anyone seeking change in their life.
Ian also is a qualified teacher and trains people in understanding why their life can go wrong and what to do to make it right. The information for these course for individuals, parents, couples and groups can be found at Intuitive Therapy. I hold my training courses locally and in other areas or even at your own venue if you would like me to. The information for these course can be found at Intuitive Therapy
We do and have also provided Counselling and Therapy to the following agencies Relate, HM Forces, Local Government Authorities, GP Surgeries, Police, Ambulance, EAP's, NHS and other local providers.
Where are we based
We have our counselling practices on Bond St, just outside Wakefield city centre and close to train and bus terminuses, which is easily reached from Leeds, Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Ossett, and all outlining WF postcodes.
For further information or to make a booking please contact us on:
Tel: Mobile for Ian 0776 9976620 or Su 0776 9976626
(Answer phone will connect if we are busy with clients, but please leave a message and your contact details, saying if we can leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible)
Ian and Su Wallace
We are registered with the following appropriate organisations.
Insecurity and understanding who really has the problem
In this world I find a lot of people coming to me for issues around their relationships and how they are not feeling fully fulfilled and happy in those relationships. This is not uncommon as most people at some time in their lives feel unfulfilled in their relationships, this can be due to lots of different things their partner not pulling their weight, work life balance is out of kilt, not spending enough quality time with their partner, not feeling they are heard, these are the general issues I see. In this process some people feel unable to say to their partner what it is that they are unhappy or unfulfilled about in the relationship.
Most of my initial work with couples is to get them to talk and share their thoughts and feelings, mostly one partner will not feel secure enough in the relationship to share these negative aspects with their other partner. This insecurity in themselves does not help them to share as the fear of rejection is a major part of the insecurity drive. This has usually become an issue years previously with some negative aspect of their upbringing either due to bullying or critical evaluation from people who were a major influence in their lives. This builds a process of rejection and insecurity for them which does not help them to share or make choices or decisions on their own, they usually then find a strong partner who will take the lead or make the choices for them. This initially is a good thing, as it creates security for them, but as with all things it normally becomes too restrictive for them and over sometime years they build resentment which has to have an out somewhere and that creates conflict in their relationships. In this process of fear of rejection part of my work is to engage with the insecure person to build confidence, self-esteem and help them to have a voice.
One thing which always helps is to make them aware that the people who have criticised or bullied them in the past are the problem and that they just externalised the problem on to them. A statement, once they trust me, which always brings tears is saying to the insecure person “they are not the problem and have never been the problem” this awareness helps them to disengage with their negative view of themselves, given by others, and I then discuss why that statement is true as anyone who feels the need to put another person down by bullying or negative criticism is always the one who has the issues. As no one would need to put another human being down if they felt secure themselves, they are the insecure person they just put that insecurity on to others so they don’t need to own or have it themselves. So if you know someone who feels this way and doesn’t have a voice or fell insecure let them know that
They are not the problem and never have been
Ian Wallace Relate Counsellor in Wakefield